Happy Holidays!

Just wanted to take the time to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! We (the kids and I) will be spending a relaxing Christmas Eve with my mom and my brothers. Then we will most likely spend Christmas Day day home. I am so excited for the kids to open their gifts. We have been truly blessed this year with lots of friends and family that love us very much and have made sure that my kids have the kind of Christmas they deserve and more. This is going to be a fantastic Christmas for them. :o)

Tomorrow is my biological treatment day. I don't look forward to them as they also give me Benedryl through my port and it makes me so sleepy. I always make sure mom has plenty of reading material for when I fall asleep on her.

Thanks to everyone for the continued prayers and support. I really am feeling great and happier than ever. I am optimistic that I will beat this even if the "odds" are against me. I refuse to be another statistic.

I have met more and more young Stage IV Colon cancer patients and it really makes me want to do something to push for earlier screening. Most of my friends who have Stage IV Colon cancer are under the age of 40. My newest friend is only 26 with mets to her lungs. Something needs to be done..just not sure where to start. :0(

Not to leave this on a "downer"..Have a safe and happy holiday and I will most likely post another update after Christmas or at the start of Cycle 11 on the 28th. We are getting close to the end now :0)

Cycle 10 completed

Today was my final day of cycle 1o. I got "unhooked" and got my shot to keep my white cell count up. I had a little bit of a scare on Monday when I got the results of my blood tests. Everything was out of whack! My white cell count was extremely high, My neutrophils were at an alert level, my red cells were up, the CEA and the CA-19-9 were also elevated from last time. I was beyond scared that something was terribly wrong. I saw my Oncologist on Tuesday and she said that because I had my shot two days prior to my blood draw that it explains all of the crazy blood test results and that I should not worry. She thinks that I am progressing well and felt my liver and said that it is much better.

So, I have my PET scan on Friday and now she also wants me to have a CAT scan as well to compare to the one that they took in the hospital in July to use as a baseline. I won't get the results until I see her on December 29th. I guess this will allow me to enjoy the holidays in case there is any bad news. Keeping my fingers crossed for good results.

I want to thank everyone again for the continued support and prayers. I am really thankful to feel as good as I do right now.

Biological treatment day

It's hard to believe that it has been 5 months since the devastating day that I receive my diagnosis. I can still vividly remember the ER doctor coming in and telling me that my CT scan showed that my insides were a mess and that they think I have cancer. I was alone with only the Dr in the room as my husband had left to go to the vending machine with our oldest son. I was terrified and broke down. The next day after exploratory surgery they confirmed the worst. I woke up from surgery to something I had never expected. I had spent months thinking that I have everything, but cancer. The word never even occured to me.

I have come a long way from that fateful day. I have realized more about life in the past five months that I never even dared. Life is precious and it truly is a gift. We often take it for granted and the people in it. I have tried hard to make relationships with people that I may have neglected and bring people closer to me. I am so thankful for everyone in my life. I also have realized that some people come and go in your life. That is OK too. Everyone has a purpose even if they are in your life only for a brief while. Even when things end badly and you know it is time to move on. Some relationships i should have moved on from a long time ago, but I was holding out hope for change that never happened. I am at peace with that and have never felt better in my life. I really have moved on and into the next phase of my life.

I have a Stage Iv colon cancer buddy that has given me hope. She was diagnosed in 2004 and is now NED (no evidence of disease). this gives me so much hope for my future. She has been an inspiration to me and really gives me the sense that miracles can happen.

I have found so much support from so many people and I am eternally grateful for all the love and prayers. I have to keep the faith :0)

Today is my biological treatment. This is usually where I fall asleep on my mom from the drowsiness of the benadryl they give me beforehand. LOL My mom is such a trooper. Hopefully, they will also have the blood test results from the lab that I had drawn on Fri. Praying that those numbers continue to go down. I actually feel better than I have in a long time and certainly do not feel "sick"

Loves and kisses,

Vicki

Chemo Cycle 9

On Day two and home with my lovely pump filled with chemicals. I go tomorrow afternoon to be unhooked thankfully. I also go in for my once every three week test to check my CEA (a tumor marker for colon cancer patients) and the CA019-9. I should be able to report the results on Monday. I'm praying that the numbers have gone down.

I am worried because lately I have had lots of twinges and aches in the area where my liver is. I am just hoping that it is the chemo doing its job and not the chemo failing. It has me worried, but but I should know Monday whether or not things are working as they should be.

Otherwise, I am feeling great. I discovered that caffeine was the secret to keeping my appetite up. I have actually managed to gain 17 lbs back of the 50 lbs that I lost. I look so much better that people have actually commented on it. I don;t look so "sick" and anymore. If you didn't know that I have cancer, you would never guess now ;0)

The founder of singleton moms has been an enormous help to me. She is making sure that I have all my paperwork in order in case something does happen to me. Cancer may not take me, but I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. She is doing so many things for me and I am forever grateful. She knows how serious my diagnosis is and wants to make sure that I am taken care of. She is wonderful!

I am so blessed to have such supportive friends and family. People that I haven't talked to in years and new friends that I have made recently. I am so fortunate to have you all in my life. I have drawn strength from all of you.

The kids are doing well, but I am still trying to convince my oldest to go to therapy. I really do think that she needs to talk to someone. She is old enough to understand the reality of the situation. My middle child is constantly telling me that I am "sick". Which actually drives me batty. I don't feel "sick" and I want to call myself a survivor someday. :0) The baby of course has no clue and is thriving.

I'll update soon on the results of my tests and any other happenings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving! I'm headed off to my mom's in a little bit to have dinner with her, my kids, and two of my brothers. I am so blessed and thankful for each day that I have to spend with my family. It is weird how cancer changes your life in mysterious ways. I now make sure to let the people in my life know how much I love them and are thankful for them. Little things make me happy and in a way they always have. I now see how people come and go in your life and that is OK too. I have so much to be thankful for and my three beautiful children have brought me so much joy. I wish someone would have told me that children are like pieces of your heart walking outside of your body.

I am also thankful for all the love, prayers, and support I have gotten over the last five months since my diagnosis. I never knew I could feel so much love. You are all wonderful and make me believe that I will survive this. You are all blessings. I hope that you are all blessed this Thanksgiving with the love of family and friends.
















T

Chemo Cycle 9 delayed

So, I got to my appointment a little bit late yesterday by accident. (We had the time wrong) So, they refused to treat me and set my Cycle 9 schedule to next week (Mon-Wed) instead. The funny thing is that if I get there on time, they have made me wait almost an hour in the waiting room. It's funny how things work when the tables are turned.

I am looking on the bright side that at least my Thanksgiving dinner will taste "normal" and I will be able to enjoy it. I am looking forward to spending the holiday with my kids, my mom, and two of my brothers. I know that the time will be special.

My middle child came home on Sunday from his trip with his dad and he is so happy to be home. He went back to school on Monday and is doing so well. It was so nice to see how much he missed his home, his brother and sister, and me. I've been getting lots of hugs and loveys.

The baby has a cold and is a little cranky. I'm just hoping that no one else catches it. Otherwise, he is doing good and growing like a weed. Can you believe that he is already wearing a 3T at 17 months? He's not even overly chubby just really solid. He is my little charmer.

My oldest is doing well. She is looking forward to having the next three days off of school and the weekend. Things have been really tough on her and she could use the break from school. Her teacher is still not very understanding and it breaks my heart to see my daughter struggle. I really wish she would talk to someone.

I am doing well. I have made a lot of "online" friends that know what I am going through both with my diagnosis and with my pending divorce. It is nice to know that I am not alone. I am doing much better about everything and have reached the stage where I am actually finding my happiness again. It's actually been a long time coming and I'm happy to be single and raise my three beautiful children.

Weekend Update ;0)

So, I guess its time for an update. I am so glad that it is Friday. We get to sleep in tomorrow if we want to. Kaylie has been having a hard time lately and her teacher is not very understanding of our circumstances and the emotions/uncertainty that comes with my diagnosis. She seriously needs to cut my daughter some slack and be more understanding. It is very aggravating.

Otherwise, things are going as smoothly as possible considering. We are still waiting for Tyler to come home. He has been gone two and a half weeks now and was supposed to be brought home today. The ex has promised to have him home by Sunday. That seriously needs to happen as Tyler needs to go back to school and I miss him so much. It feels so good to know that we are nearing the end and hopefully I can start the new year with Cancer not being the first thing on my mind. I get my blood drawn again on Dec 2nd, so I will know then where I stand on my CEA counts and CA-19-9 which are the current tumor markers for colon cancer. At last blood draw, my CA-19-9 was normal, but the CEA was still quite high at a little over 300.

Hopefully, the next four cycles will be it for me. This cancer is aggressive and recurrence is very likely, but I can have hope and faith that it will be years instead of months before that happens - if ever.

I attended a Webinar last week on Nutrition and Lifestyle choices to prevent recurrence. It was very informative, but I seriously need to make some major changes in my diet. No more red meat for me. I also need to concentrate more on my mental health and think healing thoughts. I have also become a part of several online communities with other cancer patients/survivors and it has been so helpful to me to talk with others who truly know what I am going through.

I seriously need to see the film/documentary of "Crazy Sexy Cancer" and get her books when I have the "extra" money. My dad rocks! He just got me the DVD and both books after reading my blog. Love you, Dad :0) She is so inspiring and has lots of great tips as to not let cancer rule/ruin your life and to live life to the fullest. I want so much to wake up and not let the "c-word" consume my world. My kids deserve better than that and they are my first priority.

Other than the fatigue, I am doing good and trying my Best to take positive steps forward in my life. :0)