I really apologize that it has been such a long time since I updated my blog. Life has been crazy with three kids. I almost don't know where to start. Towards the end of last year, I had a scan and got the scary news that my cancer had spread once again to my lungs. We immediately switched my treatment to Folfuri with Avastin. I was scared, confused, but so very happy to be done with Erbitux for the moment. However, it always seems that you trade one nasty side effect for another. In the beginning of this treatment, I suffered horrible stomach aches and constipation. Thankfully, the pain was worth it and my latest scan showed no visible lung mets. The treatment is working. The side effects also seemed to have leveled out. I still have some back pain, headaches, and some not so fun lip blisters. In spite of that, I can say for the first time in a long time, I feel almost "normal". I can only pray that this treatment continues to do its job for a long time to come.
As for the rest of my world, I am just trying to live as normally as possible. I just finished my eighth class at University of Phoenix working towards my Bachelors. I have put my education on hold so many times in my life that in spite of everything, I feel there is no better time than "right now". It keeps me focused on something other than sitting on the "pity potty" and makes me feel like I am accomplishing something. For those that know me, you know that I take everything that I do very seriously and put all my effort into it. It has been hard now because with treatment comes "chemo brain" and I feel like I have to work twice as hard to concentrate and focus on anything. Maybe this is because I have been on continuous treatment since July 2009. who knows?!?!
All three of my kids are doing fabulous and I couldn't be prouder. I think the fact that I feel and act stronger than ever has helped them to manage their own emotions regarding my diagnosis. We all just have to live each day to the fullest and take it one day at a time. They know that their mommy is fighting like mad to spend more time with them.
In closing, I will say that this year is starting out on a more positive note than last year and I will continue to fight to be with my children. I appreciate all of my friends and family who continue to send their love, prayers, and support to me. It means everything to me. I will make more of an effort to keep people updated through my blog. I tend to forget that not everyone sees my daily progress updates on facebook or otherwise. To my cancer friends, you are all always in my thoughts and prayers.
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