Friday, August 19, 2011

Just taking it one day at a time

I've had a rough week with trying to recover from Chemo on Monday and dealing with the aftermath of the events that took place on Monday Afternoon. For those of you that don't know, I was driving home from Chemo on Monday afternoon, in my boyfriend's car, when there was an explosion and the car burst into flames. I pulled over and got out of the car. There were several people that had stopped on the side of the road to help me. Including a very nice lady who could see that I was visibly shaken and let me sit in her car until the police and fire department arrived. The car is a total loss, but I am alright. Even though everyone keeps telling me that my being alright is what matters, I still feel terrible even though it was one of those freakish unexplained events. Even my boyfriend says how incredibly unfair it is that I was the one that was driving the car when this happened. I don't think anyone can stop the guilt, even if they did nothing wrong, when they are driving someone else's car and something happens. I was fortunate enough to be able to get a ride to get unhooked on Wednesday, but am unsure as to how to work all of this out to get to treatment in the future.

I was already in a tough place emotionally and mentally the past few weeks and now I feel like I have been pushed over the edge. I spend the first couple of days uncontrollably crying and feeling sorry for myself. I just don't know how to fix this. My boyfriend has been incredible. I know how unexpected and stressful this is for him. This is reality to the extreme and I just have to pray that things will work out as intended.

In my last post, I talked about how I have been slowly changing my diet and using supplements where I know that I am lacking and where research has proven them to be beneficial to colon cancer patients. I have been striving to make the majority of my meals more fruits, vegetables, and whole wheat pasta and beans. I am trying to minimize my intake of meat, dairy, and unhealthy snacks, etc. I have a long way to go, but I have made significant progress. I have also added supplements like omega-3, B-complex, D3 and probiotics. So far, I have noticed that I have been feeling a lot better with the changes. This week, I plan to go for daily walks and enroll in a yoga class.

Just wanted to send out another "Thank You" to all the wonderfully supportive people whose kindness and prayers have kept me motivated and inspired to stay healthy. It has been 26 months since my diagnosis and I refuse to give up.

Until Next time

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Hectic Life

The kids have been out of school since the end of May and it seems that we have been non-stop busy since then. There are so many things that need to be accomplished before the new school year starts and there never seems to be enough time or money. I've been feeling overwhelmed and emotional. I've been having many days where I just don't see how I can manage it all and I am envious of those people who have really close friends who live nearby to lean on when it all gets unbearable. My closest friends live on the other side of the country. I've tried to make friends here, but not having my own transportation has made it difficult to meet up since I live in a fairly rural area. Two years without a car and I have reached my breaking point. It gets me down. On top of all that I have been dealing with, I hate that I have to struggle with that. I know that some people may think that is whiny of me, but I feel very isolated right now.

Then last month, we had a scare with my middle son. Prior to a scheduled surgery to have his tonsils/adenoids removed and have bilateral tubes placed, there were concerns about some of his blood work that was done. Apparently, they did not like the numbers and it put him at higher risk for bleeding. So, they postponed his surgery and sent us to a hematologist to determine what the cause was. I was in a panic. How much more could I handle? Thankfully, a second round of blood tests turned up normal and his surgery was rescheduled for August 9th. We are two days post surgery and he is uncomfortable, but doing well. I am happy to have this surgery behind us and have him on the mend. Poor little guy must have had a sore throat his entire life and never knew any better or complained. The surgeon/ENT said that he had the tonsils of a 21 year old (they were that large). Once he is recovered, he is going to feel so much better. Plus, towards the end of last year, he as getting ear infections at a rate of almost one a month. This was a necessity and I am glad that we got it accomplished before the start of first grade.

We've also been busy with traveling to a family reunion, our county fair, and some local festivals. The kids have had a great summer and we still have until after Labor day before they return to school. Things will be hectic then with the three kids going to three separate schools. My oldest is starting 7th grade at the High school, my middle child 1st grade, and my youngest is starting preschool three mornings a week. This is going to be a great school year for all of them. :)

I want to thank everyone for your continued support and prayers. It means so much to me and it keeps me strong and focused on what is important - getting well. I have been doing a lot of research on nutrition and supplements lately and I have a list of blog posts that I want to do regarding this. So, look for those really soon. I also have been focusing on moving more whether that be walking, jogging, yoga, etc. I have a plan to make the most of my time in Sept when the kids go back to school, so I can continue on my healing journey and beat this stupid cancer.

It's late here, but I wanted to make sure to get this blog post up as promised. I will work on the other blog posts I mentioned as well as putting up some pictures of our summer adventures.

Until next time