Friday, August 19, 2011

Just taking it one day at a time

I've had a rough week with trying to recover from Chemo on Monday and dealing with the aftermath of the events that took place on Monday Afternoon. For those of you that don't know, I was driving home from Chemo on Monday afternoon, in my boyfriend's car, when there was an explosion and the car burst into flames. I pulled over and got out of the car. There were several people that had stopped on the side of the road to help me. Including a very nice lady who could see that I was visibly shaken and let me sit in her car until the police and fire department arrived. The car is a total loss, but I am alright. Even though everyone keeps telling me that my being alright is what matters, I still feel terrible even though it was one of those freakish unexplained events. Even my boyfriend says how incredibly unfair it is that I was the one that was driving the car when this happened. I don't think anyone can stop the guilt, even if they did nothing wrong, when they are driving someone else's car and something happens. I was fortunate enough to be able to get a ride to get unhooked on Wednesday, but am unsure as to how to work all of this out to get to treatment in the future.

I was already in a tough place emotionally and mentally the past few weeks and now I feel like I have been pushed over the edge. I spend the first couple of days uncontrollably crying and feeling sorry for myself. I just don't know how to fix this. My boyfriend has been incredible. I know how unexpected and stressful this is for him. This is reality to the extreme and I just have to pray that things will work out as intended.

In my last post, I talked about how I have been slowly changing my diet and using supplements where I know that I am lacking and where research has proven them to be beneficial to colon cancer patients. I have been striving to make the majority of my meals more fruits, vegetables, and whole wheat pasta and beans. I am trying to minimize my intake of meat, dairy, and unhealthy snacks, etc. I have a long way to go, but I have made significant progress. I have also added supplements like omega-3, B-complex, D3 and probiotics. So far, I have noticed that I have been feeling a lot better with the changes. This week, I plan to go for daily walks and enroll in a yoga class.

Just wanted to send out another "Thank You" to all the wonderfully supportive people whose kindness and prayers have kept me motivated and inspired to stay healthy. It has been 26 months since my diagnosis and I refuse to give up.

Until Next time

1 comment:

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