Monday, December 7, 2009

Biological treatment day

It's hard to believe that it has been 5 months since the devastating day that I receive my diagnosis. I can still vividly remember the ER doctor coming in and telling me that my CT scan showed that my insides were a mess and that they think I have cancer. I was alone with only the Dr in the room as my husband had left to go to the vending machine with our oldest son. I was terrified and broke down. The next day after exploratory surgery they confirmed the worst. I woke up from surgery to something I had never expected. I had spent months thinking that I have everything, but cancer. The word never even occured to me.

I have come a long way from that fateful day. I have realized more about life in the past five months that I never even dared. Life is precious and it truly is a gift. We often take it for granted and the people in it. I have tried hard to make relationships with people that I may have neglected and bring people closer to me. I am so thankful for everyone in my life. I also have realized that some people come and go in your life. That is OK too. Everyone has a purpose even if they are in your life only for a brief while. Even when things end badly and you know it is time to move on. Some relationships i should have moved on from a long time ago, but I was holding out hope for change that never happened. I am at peace with that and have never felt better in my life. I really have moved on and into the next phase of my life.

I have a Stage Iv colon cancer buddy that has given me hope. She was diagnosed in 2004 and is now NED (no evidence of disease). this gives me so much hope for my future. She has been an inspiration to me and really gives me the sense that miracles can happen.

I have found so much support from so many people and I am eternally grateful for all the love and prayers. I have to keep the faith :0)

Today is my biological treatment. This is usually where I fall asleep on my mom from the drowsiness of the benadryl they give me beforehand. LOL My mom is such a trooper. Hopefully, they will also have the blood test results from the lab that I had drawn on Fri. Praying that those numbers continue to go down. I actually feel better than I have in a long time and certainly do not feel "sick"

Loves and kisses,

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