Monday, November 2, 2009

An update

As most of you know by now, my husband of 7 years left me last week for another woman. She is his team driver and I am slowly healing. I realized that we haven't been "in love" for a long time. The kids are doing fine with their mommy and the only one that really realizes what is going on is my oldest. She is really hurting right now and angry for me. She is such a precious angel.

Otherwise, we are all doing great. I feel stronger and stronger every day. I will have new CEA and CA-19-9 numbers at the end of the week. Hopefully, those numbers continue to go down as I kick this cancer's bootie. I feel positive and I am so thankful for all the love and support of my family and friends. We start Cycle 8 of 12 on Wed and I am hoping that this round is gentler on me than the last cycle. I think the last cycle was more depression with all that has been going on in my life.

I have been urged to get counseling, but hesitate because it one more thing that my mom will have to drive me to. Although, she could probably use some counseling with me. Maybe my daughter too. My sons are both to young to even grasp was is going on.

Today I am meeting with the founder of which helps single moms that are battling cancer and going through treatment. I am really looking forward to meeting her. I see how much they have helped other moms and I am excited to have yet another team of moms on my side.

My ex is probably about to quit his job because he is currently in the hole. So, I am stressed about money because I won't be seeing any Child support for awhile. I may have to consider living with my mom for a few months. At least until my treatments are over and I have saved money for a smaller place and hopefully a used car. I hate being cooped up in this house all the time. There is a great playgroup for my youngest but I can't go to any of the events because they are too far to walk and I can't burden my mom anymore than I already have.

I'll get off my pity pot, but that is my current life situation in a nutshell. Thank you to everyone for your prayers and kind thoughts. I will be alright.


  1. VickI ~ I am so proud of you for standing up for what is best for YOU. I am sad for you that your ex did that to you and your family. However, I think that all things happen for a reason and maybe this is just what you needed to realize you weren't "in love". It may not be a bad thing to stay with your mom because it would not only help you save $$ but it will give you some help with the kiddos. You can and you WILL pull through all of this. You are honestly one of the strongest women I know - look at you go - almost 70% done with all that chemo!!! It is definitely working because you improve you numbers EVERY time.

    I think it is great you are reaching out to other groups to help you get through this and focusing on your babies...honestly, more than anything, a mother's love can work wonders at healing.

    I believe in you and know in 4 short rounds you WILL be cancer FREE all the way and on your way to a happier life - you truly deserve all that life has to offer for all you do.

    xoxo ~ LOVE ya! D

  2. Hi, Vicki - I really hope that you can find some resources via singletonmoms. Read through your blog; certainly understand many of the things that you are dealing with now. I know it's hard to figure out how to fit in something like counseling, but you may want to ask your oncologist's office if they have any kind of free support group, or telephone counseling available. There are things I have said to my counselor that I couldn't say to friends or family, but that I needed to say to get my head to the right place - having a counselor in my corner made that possible.
    If I can help in any way, Vicki -
    meanwhile, hope this week's treatment goes better than last week's.